Yoga Teacher Training: Tonglen Meditation

Tonglen Meditation Yoga Teacher Training

Tonglen  Meditation

aka/or Giving and Receiving: A Practice of Great Mercy
​Joan Halifax


1 Cultivating Mercy


The practice of Tonglen or Giving and Receiving is done to develop our compassion and our ability to be present for our own suffering and the suffering of others. It is also a practice of great kindness that opens up our whole being to the overwhelming presence of suffering and our strength and willingness to transform alienation into compassion through the energy of mercy and the cultivation of openness.


Tonglen is one of the richest and bravest practices that we can do. In teaching this practice for more than twenty-five years, I have been told again and again that this one practice has helped many people immeasurably in attending to their own fears around pain, suffering, dying, and loss and has given them a real basis for the joining of compassion and equanimity. This is one of the great meditation jewels that offers a way us to cultivate our natural mercy.


We begin the practice with a heart that is truly committed to helping others and to working openly with our own situation. When we look deeply into how this can actually happen, we see that to help others, we must relate with kindness toward our own suffering, our rage, helplessness, and frustration, our doubt, bitterness, and fear.


The practice of Sending and Receiving helps us to get in touch with the obstacles that prevent us from understanding and caring. Through our own experience with suffering and the development of an atmosphere of openness toward it, we can begin to accept and be with others and ourselves in a more open, kind and understanding way. Our own difficult personal experiences then become the bridge that leads us to compassion and to giving no fear.


2 Giving No Fear


In order to give no fear, we must first learn to relate with our own suffering—our rage, helplessness, frustration, doubt, bitterness, and fear--


instead of pushing it away. 
Gentle loving-kindness toward ourselves is what it takes to be present for our own suffering. We need to learn to stay with our own suffering without trying to change it or fix it. Only when we are able to be present for our own suffering are we able to be present for the suffering of others. The practice of mindfulness meditation, in which we watch the ebb and flow of mental activity, is a good way to cultivate this ability. With gentle precision and honesty, we stay with our experience through foul weather and clear skies. Seeing the mental weather go through its changes gives us some sense of the nature and cause of our suffering and also of the possibility that, at the very ground of our being, we are all free from suffering.


The practice of giving and receiving develops our ability to be present for suffering and offers us a way to cultivate natural mercy. It trains us to use the energy of loving-kindness to open our hearts to suffering and transform it into well- being. It asks us to invite suffering into our being and let it break open the armor of our heart. The tender spaciousness that arises awakens selfless warmth and compassion. We cannot help but send our love and kindness to the one who is suffering, be it others or ourselves.
The basis of the practice is the realization that suffering exists and that beings can be free of suffering. These are the two great points of faith that guide us in this practice. We discover them to be true through our own experience. When I sit with a dying person, I must see both of these dimensions. I must look from a place in myself that includes suffering but that is bigger than suffering. I must look from a heart that is so big that it is open to everything, including freedom from suffering. Can I see her suffering and her great heart as well? Can I see his true nature, who he really is, deeper than the story?


3 Shall we begin?  Meditation: Giving and Receiving


To begin the practice, you can sit in meditation posture, relax in a chair, or lie down. Gently close your eyes and let your body and mind settle. You want to feel relaxed and open.


You can say this prayer—or the prayer of your choice—to create a sense of spaciousness in which the giving and receiving can take place:


Having recognized the futility of my selfishness And the great benefit of loving others, may I bring all beings to joy.
May I send all my virtues and happiness to others through the strength of my practice, and may I receive the suffering, obstacles, and defilements of all motherly beings in all realms.


Begin by breathing in whatever you are feeling—fear, agitation, anger, resistance—and accepting it. On the exhalation breathe out well-being. Clear your mind by bringing awareness to what is agitating you and breathing it in, accepting it with kindness. Then, as you exhale, give yourself some spaciousness. Do this breath practice until you are calm and alert


Working with the Texture of the Breath


When you feel settled, begin the second stage of the practice, which is establishing a rhythm of breathing. 


On your in-breath imagine that you are inhaling heavy, hot air. 


On your out-breath visualize exhaling cool, light air. 


Continue with this pattern--


Breathing in heaviness and breathing out lightness—until it is familiar to you. 


The heaviness is suffering; the lightness is well-being.


Now imagine that you are breathing through all the pores of your body. 


On the in-breath heavy, hot air enters every pore. 
On the out-breath, cool light flows from every pore.


Dissolving the Metal Sheath around the Heart


Now visualize a metal sheath around your heart. 
This metal sheath is everything about you that is difficult for you to accept: 


Your self-importance, selfishness, self-pity. 
It is the band of fear that hardens your heart. 


The practice invites you to dissolve this metal sheath and open your heart to its natural nonjudgmental state of warmth, kindness, and spaciousness.
 
You can do this by visualizing the metal sheath breaking apart when the in-breath of suffering touches it. When the heart opens, the hot, heavy air vanishes into its vast space. What arises is natural mercy. It is this quality of unarmored heart that allows you to be with suffering and at the same time to see beneath the suffering.


Awakening the Heart


The reason you are doing this practice is that you are suffering, others are suffering, and you wish with all your heart that all beings could be free from suffering. This wish needs to be specific, personal, and sincere. It helps to touch in with a being or an event that evokes this wish. The Tibetan teacher Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche would remember having seen a puppy being stoned to death when he was a child. He would have done anything to relieve the dog of its suffering. He used the memory of this helpless puppy to open his heart at the beginning of the practice.


Bring to your mind some being, dead or alive, with whom you feel a deep connection: a parent, child, pet, your grandmother, your dearest friend, your beloved teacher—someone who is suffering. 


You would do anything to help this one. Be with this one and feel what she is experiencing. Let your whole being turn toward her suffering and your wish that it might be relieved. 


See how vulnerable she is. Like a mother who will do anything to help her child, you will do anything to help your friend.


Visualize the suffering of your beloved as polluted, hot smoke and breathe it in through your whole body. The instant that the in-breath of suffering touches the metal sheath of self-centeredness around your heart, the sheath breaks apart, and your heart opens to the suffering. 


The hot smoke instantly vanishes into the great space of your heart, and from this space spontaneously arises an out-breath of mercy and healing.


Send a deep, cool, light, and spacious healing breath to your friend. Let the out-breath flow through every pore of your body.


Let this one’s suffering remind you of the many others who find themselves suffering in the same way. This friend is your connection to them. 


Breathe in their suffering. 
Let your heart break open. 
Send them healing with your out-breath. 


Continue with this practice for several minutes.  
Breathing in.  
Breathing out.

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